what happens if u accidentally sneeze while ur making out with someone
(via hotboyproblems)
i drop a piece of weed and it fell in a spider web and the spider was like “my nigga” and we fist pounded
(Source: cowboybeboop, via noxiously)
if i had the power to control time i would probably just use it to sleep more
(via noxiously)
in middle school my friend used to give me these huge lemons to eat because they were delicious and one time i was eating one and some idiot told me he’d give me ten bucks to take a huge bite and another kid added five so i got 15 american dollar for doing what i was already doing truly this is the land of opportunity
(via shinebrightlikeashutup)
baby-pigeon-in-the-trench-coat:
Fun party trick: put Skittles and M&M’s in the same bowl, wait for someone to grab a handful.
you can go fuck yourself
my mum did this and didnt tell anyone so when my sister put a bunch in her mouth she spat them out and started crying and now she has trust issues
(via sexting-inchurch)
If you’re offended by slut shaming, you’re probably a slut.
oh boy
bad dumb stupid horrible post 0/10 zero stars two thumbs down
if you’re offended by racism you’re probably a racist
if you’re offended by rape you’re probably a rapist
(via shinebrightlikeashutup)
everyone says “just get out and leave everything behind in the event of a house fire” like no fuck that shit im grabbing every electronic i can hold
(Source: tempooooooooes, via shinebrightlikeashutup)
whenever my mom criticizes me i yell “it’s probably genetic” and run out of the room as fast as i can
(Source: tomlintum, via fake-mermaid)
a moment of silence for those who haven’t seen their favourite band live
(Source: atrophydaughter, via shinebrightlikeashutup)
